Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Loss of a Friend

No my friend did not die. It is a death no less. I am grieving the loss of someone that meant a lot to me. I took the step that I had been dreading today. I went to see my friend and ask her if we were "ok". The answer I got was no. Like most falling aparts no one is right or wrong. Yes, I hurt her, did I do it on purpose, no. Due to what I would say was a misunderstanding, I blew her off for a New Years get together.
Going back about 4 years, I met this wonderful man at a boat safety class. We spoke at break time and found out we had some things in common. Imagine my surprise when they invited us over for supper and there on the table are my Yorktown dishes. Yes, we had a lot in common. She,(as I will refer to her as) loved to cook, loved to shop, liked to eat at 10:30, we always had a good time when we went out.
I have friends, people you met and see now and then, I have friends that are close. The ones you call when your upset, the ones you can tell anything and they will laugh with you or cry with you. She was one of those.
I morn my loss now, being told that I hurt her so there is no going back. I had called a few times asking if they could come for supper, or did they need something in town, just small stuff. Stuff we used to do for each other. I always was told no. Today I just drove over to her house to get the answer to my questions. Are we ok? No. I didn't call first, which we always did, partly because I figured she would tell me she was on her way out or something was going on as she had before. I did not expect to hear the things I did. I needed to hear them from her I suppose. The not knowing was taking a toll on me. Right now I sit her typing with tears in my eyes for her and her family. I have been missing her for several months. Now I miss all that we will not be doing in the future. A friend is so dear to me. I feel bad that I mistreated one. I will try to do better in the future with my friends. I must use this loss as a way to be better in my life. I will forever miss my friend, and yes I will continue to call her that. She has a place in my heart that will not be refilled. I will make more friends in my life, but none like her. She was one in a million. I will morn her, miss her, remember her, but take what I have learned and move on. Perhaps she was a friend who came into my life to teach me how to be a better friend. She was in my life, and I so loved it. I am proud of myself for jumping in the car and going over there. No matter how hard it was, I had to. I care for her, and will for a long time.
My question for you is have you lost a friend that was dear to you. Is there any going back after you have the talk and find out she doesn't want you as a friend anymore? If you heard something happened to someone in the family would you venture to their door, knowing you were not welcome.... so many questions. I have lost a huge hunk of happiness today.


  1. Oh honey, I'm so sorry!!!! {{{{HUGS}}}}

    Yes, I've lost a friend, not quite as close as your friend. But still we used to talk everyday, call each other w/all our problems, she knew everything about me. She's the one who "ruined" everything by telling a lie that to me was "uncalled for".

    She pretended to have this whole relationship with someone "online" and told this huge background/story/etc to go with it ... and went so far as to have this person "join" websites and other things ... when all in the end it was her pretending to be someone else. I was shocked, sad, upset, hurt ... I'd even talked to her "friend" online about her .. and then to find out it was her in the end .. I was very angry, hurt ... shocked ..

    Ever since this happened we have hardly spoken. She might call me once every 6 months. When she does I take what she says at a distance, and don't believe half of what she tells me because I had trusted her with so much and in the end ... all she could do was lie to me.

  2. Sandy, that is so sad..I am very sorry..My best friend lives quite a distance away, and we are not close like we used to be, just due to distance and her busy with working and going to college for her degree..I never know when is a good time to call, so I rarely do..I know she is busy and my life is boring and I don't feel like anyting I say is of interest to anyone. I need to do better..
    I guess all you can do is move on, but you have to mourn and get ok with yourself first..don't beat yourself up too bad, ok..everyone messes up sometime..Hang in there]sending hugs to you

  3. Okay, so I am going to ramble here... We have all made mistakes. I don't know a perfect person...Do you? I think the saddest part of this that I do not understand is how can someone not forgive another who is truly sorry? I can't imagine giving up a wonderful friendship because of my own personal pride. Surely there has to be something else involved here. My heart so aches for you and all the feelings you must be having. The Savior told those who were without sin to cast the first stone. Do we not all make mistakes that we wish we could take back? Guess I am just too softhearted that I wouldn't want to reject and hurt the other person as well. If someone truly repents and is sincerely sorry I cannot hold a grudge. Yes...this will be a growing/learning experience for your future. Be glad that you learned it and move on to treat others even better. There is not one person I know that wouldn't give anything to have a friendship like that. Life is to short and precious.

    God bless.

    Peggy H.