Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It's December 15!

Can you believe it is December 15th already? A whole year has gone, again. I have been unemployed for a year and a half now. The job market is terrible out there, in fact the last time I went and talked to the unemployment office I asked if I could repeat the places I tried to find work at. I tried to explain to them that I live in a rural community, but it didn't seem to set in. I said there is only so many places I can apply and still be withing a reasonable distance to drive. I will not drive to Rockford every day, that is a good hour or more away. In Lanark where I am the closest to there are a couple of bars, a grocery store, bank, eye glass place, and a few other small businesses that have been here forever, and the people who work there have been there for a long time. I am a people person, I love talking to people, helping people, I am just happy interacting with them. I was a secretary for 15 years before I was let go, I loved my job... I was good at my job, I cared about our customers.... I do not see that so much anymore...I worked in a hospital, in the medical record department. Let me tell you, it is a low paying job that you work your ass off at. I wore a pedometer for a while and discovered that I was putting on between 5 and 7 miles a day running around the hospital with charts. I did it for little pay and felt like I had found the perfect job for me, working with others who care about people and our department was mostly ladies my age, a little older but still out there doing a good job, no matter what. I was let go from this also. I still keep in touch with the ladies from that job, they were great ladies to work with, and anyone who knows women knows there are not always easy to work with. This group was some of the best gals I have ever come across. A year and a half has gone by now, I have worked a little part time here and there, but not enough to keep me busy. I have hosted at Poopy's Pub N Grub in Savanna, and because I am a people person I love it. I have met people from all over, one from France, some from Canada, all riding a motorcycle to see Poopy's. I loved it. Now weather and the economy is bad, I am not working the weekends like I had been. I am home, stuck inside with my hubby and dog, probably for the winter... don't get me wrong, it is not all bad, we save gas money, we don't have to pay to be plowed out if I am not going anywhere, and I am here, at home. I am depressed again, but fighting every day to be good. I am a good person, I have so much to offer, but where is the outlet for that? I need people, I need to be needed, that I think comes from being a mother, but this day in, day out, no hope in sight, it takes a toll, and I am not as bad off as some of the unemployed out there, so far our home is still ours, it is for sale, as many are now, I have this terrible gut feeling that things will get worse before it gets better. I see this in so many peoples eyes, I do what I can, I offer my home to friends to come and dine, I tell friends to come stay all night, take a break from the stress they have, let me help you relax, it is a small thing I can do. I want to share our home as long as we have it. My house is a home, it is inviting and warm. I feel love here, and even when I am totally depressed and feel so alone, I am at peace here. If I can share this with a friend, it pleases me and makes me feel good. It is no trouble, it is love.. it is sharing..

1 comment:

  1. Oh Sandy, I know how you feel, I am unemployed due to being ill. I get very depressed, also..fighting for social security disability has taken a all my life and have to fight like this..In fact I see a blog post on this subject! Anyway, I am always around if you want to chat, email, whatever. Cindy is a good person to be around if you need cheering up, we all have stuff but we try to hang in there can be our honorary sister ok.
    Hang in there, we will all make it ok.